When i was with my girls it was just joy spilling over with more joy! i am blessed girl 13 months and i still have not even left her yet (D3 Gold). i work at home and homeschool my daughters we are never a part. all i can do is pray that Yashua protects and guides my son. one of the elders said that a babe suckle only on his own mother, i am trying to find this to show it is written to show my husband. that elder was against this but he has died, what sign is that? the babys mother has been working on bringing her milk in. my husband says dont think that way, this is not your son, its there son! be happy for them! maybe we are supposed to keep the babies to suckle first? my husband says he is going to put earplugs in my ears so i do not hear him right before he is born. with my daughters i collapsed at there cries like music i havent stopped dancing since for my babies. maybe this is why i will be unclean to go to church so i can straight myself out before i see him? i can pray that i learn that he is not really my son. if he were my snn my husbands heart would not be so hardened. he is not my son. when i got home from the scan i thought my husband would be more open to a sign after he found its a boy. that was the happyest day until he got home its all the same. i plead to yashua that we will find a way. i push away these evil thoughts of defying my husband. all i really want is for my son to be part of the body of yashua. anything else is selfish!!!!!!! it just hurts so much does anyone know how to get a csection? i just want to wake up and be done with, please i plead to yashua, amen! i pray that something happens and they have to take my womb out so i will never have to do this again (D3 Gold). my husband says if i have another baby they will have it. i dont ever want to bear a child again. i cant stop crying i pray for strenth.
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